all my life i have dreamed of one thing: the day i could go into a library, go to the card catalogue and see my name under “mental illness.” ~ niles crane

one of the houses in my neighbourhood had their house alarm go off at 6am this morning. kalau setakat the wiring trip kan, and you turn it off right away kan, i can forgive you. that would just be the whole wear and tear thing ke, bad engineering ke, honest mistake kinda okay. OR, maybe memang kena masuk pencuri. por supesto, i don’t know what a pencuri was thinking trying to pecah rumah masa subuh, but that alarm was loud enough to wake the dead – and its a damn monday morning and halloween is over and even the dead want their precious few minutes of sleep too, dammit.

bottom line is this la, when the siren goes off at 6am, okay, fine, thanks for the alarm call, now turn it off please, so i can snooze just a little bit more. but when it goes on and on and on, and just as you turn it off, it goes on again at 6.10am and 6.13am and 6.20am, somebody is seriously asking for some big time ass kicking this morning.

i had a very tiring last week. make it last two weeks. wait, the week before that was not exactly a bunch of sweet smelling roses either. bottom line is this, i am just waiting for a weekend where i can lock all my doors and windows and pretend nobody’s home, turn off my hope and pretend that i’m overseas or something, and just live for two days on chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, orange juice and rubbish sitcoms.

let me put my week to you in one deliciously perplexing paragraph: it has just been one event after another after another after another. you know, there is a reason why there is more than one person on this team. that is so that you don’t keep beating on the one that is already kinda brain dead from the previous, no. and when this one brain dead chick already has other people’s so-called life or death event on her plate, it is very very dangerous to even suggest to her that your cutesie wootsie side project has any significance whatsoever in advancing the happiness factor or her life.

and to top it all off, i am surrounded by people who really could do with heath ledger’s joker’s carving skills, because they kinda look like the bulldog in MIB. people! it does not hurt to smile. no, really. it makes like a universe of difference. no, seriously.

i think that more people need to loosen up and learn to laugh at themselves. to have a lot of work is one thing. oh come on, everyone is busy lah and everyone wants to have their own life too, but we don’t always get to rule our own universe so if you can’t quit complaining, then just bloody shut up. people wonder why i am here, there and everywhere at the same time and how could i juggle all you clowns and still be able to trapeze with one had tied behind my back – one word: humour.

one of the projects on my plate went flop amidst all the craziness. and it was one of those that everyone was looking forward too lagi. and it was not my fault, just that at the last minute, the sponsor tarik diri and since it was just a fun project thing, no serious damage was rendered. just masa je la, kena bazir and some high hopes kena disappointed. and people ask me, why i am not more bitter about it.

listen. aku pun disappointed jugak,but i am not going to mope all over the floor with this kind of thing. for one thing, i got a zillion other things to worry about and look, things dah tak jadi, GET OVER IT! i refuse to bring my life to a bloody standstill just to mourn over some project that did not work out. dah orang tak suka, MOVE ON! bring on the next big thing. slide over the next course and let’s get on with it.

jangan jadi bodoh. laugh la, dammit. if you think that you got it tough, you really don’t want to know what’s on my desks (oh yes, that’s now a plural, baby) right now, and if i can find some snarky sense of humour in this, so can you.

as you can see, aku sangat stress. so stressed, that yesterday, i got sent by some well-meaning forces for a thai massage. i prefer thai to balinese because of the strength of the pressure. and let me tell you, when the elbow dug into my shoulders, i almost lost consciousness. it was one of those massages that contorted me in strange and un-natural positions and attempted to force some elasticity into my very sore body. it was then that i realised how fragile my poor damaged self. i still feel knotted though, but better than last week.

memo for people wanting to get me gifts: spa vouchers, please.

good things happen too last week. but you’re not here to read about the happy things and i am more in the mood this morning to vent about un-laughing people anyway. it is a monday morning, dammit, and i woke up just a few precious minutes too early because of a stupid house alarm.


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