i was asked to participate in a role playing exercise yesterday, and i suddenly found myself face to face with a demon from my past. not in the form of a person. that would have been easy to bitch about. but a memory. an experience. something i went through that i really really did not enjoy many years ago, and a certainly do not want to re-live. ever. like ever ever.
and i am confronted by the terrible realisation that all these things i don’t want to live through again could happen. and when put in such situation, how do i react? in the case of yesterday, i just wanted to get out of there. i don’t like scenarios like that. i would never consciously allow myself into those kinda situations. but the thing is, it could happen. and i fear that someday, for real, it will happen. again.