so now you tell me, how can anyone say that they really really know the other person? and i am not just saying that you accept that he is like that. and i’m saying more than understanding why a person does things. i mean, able to completely know and menghayati the nature of that person.
PB tells me that he is a hundred percent in tune with his girlfriend. and he means a hundred percent. as in he knows her reactions and how she feels and what she’s going to say, before she even says it. and he would know why precisely. not only because of the nature of the situation. but because he knows who she is. completely.
and here i am wondering, if that is even possible. can you know the person so completely that way?
and then i ask myself, would you want to know a person like that? that nothing surprises you about that person anymore?
would i want someone to know me that well? would i want someone who knows how my mind and my heart would react in different situations? understanding is a different thing. it is being able to know and i mean just know.
i have given up on actually being able to find someone who understands me. and i thought about it, and decided that it is not important that people understand me. in fact, i think that things are much better this way. i do have friends who accept me for this quirk of a being and allow me to be me and i am grateful enough for that. that’s all i need, really. people who just let me be me.
now the six million dollar question is, is it possible to find someone who would love this geek without ever truly able to understand her?
to those in the know, i’m still not quite okay yet. but i am fine. it is not what you think and i don’t want anyone leaving comments saying that they understand. didn’t i just say that you can’t? not the way i see things. not the way i feel things. J asks me over and over again what he can do and i really don’t know.
in truth, i don’t think that even i understand me. i surprise myself constantly. things pop in and out of life and i react. and i don’t always react the same. i like some things. i want some things. i prefer some things. i wish for some things.
and things change, i guess.