he fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

now i remember why i almost dropped out in the first place. almost. so very at the tipmost brink of almost. god knows that there are higher forces at work that even i cannot humour myself out of. he’s quite definitely in on it too.

so i sacrificed my lunch hour and wrestled through the traffic, only to run into one administrative lame brain after another. fine, insulting other people’s intelligence is below the belt even for me. it is the attitude that i would like free range of. some people can be fine and well contented with low IQs matched with low aspirations. no problem. but sista, when you come and rub that in my face and think that i would stoop to waiting on you instead, i swear, the only thing that stopped me from going nuclear that afternoon was the very last strained ounce for public respect that my mama worked so hard to instill in me.

maybe she was having a bad day, i recited as a mantra, as her prune wannabe face hovers over the giant filing cabinet. well, way for spreading the love, man! way to spewing all that jazz about sharing and caring. whoever you wait for at home this evening will be proud. i hope you get laid very soon.

but does that fun stops there? of course not. how can things slow down when we’ve build up so much fun filled momentum already? fate so happens that i meet another of god’s serenely delusional beings gracing this blessed earth. this one, as opposed to being sour, was loud. and i took it like a soldier of fortune against the magnificent rocks of batu caves. there was not getting through to her.

what did i do? naturally, i intend to spread the love to the next unfortunate soul to cross my sorry path. you want to get things done, you gotta go do it for yourself. just don’t expect rainbows, fluffy pink clouds, bunny rabbits and sunshine to dance about me when i do. and i did.

oh please, to all ye of little faith, i did not spew out the damage along la. i am far too cynical. i take too much pleasure in people making idjits out of themselves to pass the honour around. it’s also bad for the diva bitch persona that i’m so carefully trying to cultivate.

if J was there, he would have the two nearest hospitals racing ambulances to the scene on my behalf. this thought makes me smile.


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