find a guy who calls you beautiful

find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…

wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,

who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on.

one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
and how lucky his is to have you…

the one who turns to his friends and says,
“that’s her!”

~ harry tottszer ~

back to main blog here.


137 thoughts on “find a guy who calls you beautiful

  1. wuah…what has happened :) to make you post this beautiful verses? i fail to meet the standard of this post. i feel embarrassed to hold hands in public

  2. “Who will call you back when you hang up on him”, that is a joke, no self-respecting male should ever do that. This excerpt should be more explicit: “find a guy who will let you walk all over him”.

    If any woman found a man like this, he’s probably gay. Stop living in your fantasy world ladies, come back to planet earth so us men can have you all for ourselves, ahahaha!

  3. find a woman who will cook and not moan, who will appologise when you hang up on her. who will always give you oral sex even if you havnt washed for a month. a woman who will get you a beer, even at 4 in the morning when she is ill. a woman who will never ask you to clean anything.

  4. I have found a man like that and I am disgusted that you boys think it is gay for a true man to do that for the woman he loves

  5. wow. she’s right.
    my guy would do anything for me, and obviously there are some boys in this world who could take a leaf out of another man’s book…one who is truly in love.

  6. The guys posting here obviously fail as real men. Don’t post here and bash girls out of spite because you don’t live up to this little but very true poem.

    They definitely do exist, and they’re not gay I can promise you. If you truly love someone, you do those things for her and I’m glad i found someone who does live up to this:)

    Rob, you are pathetic indeed:)

  7. Good job Stephanie, Kat, and Rose. i have found a guy like that also. he always shows me off to his buddies when i look horrible, and he always calls me back to say he loves me. and i love him with all my heart and would give anything to be with him right now but he is 3,000 miles away. :(

  8. I love holding hands with the one i love. His hands are so big and i dont know. i just feel amazing and safe when im around him. He puts videos on YOUTUBE saying how much he loves me. all of you should see the song DEAR GOD by Avenged Sevenfold. its an amazing song. And Richard, i love u and will never stop.

  9. Just to let everyone know, I’ve been this kind of guy and I always get put in the “Just Friends” category. So what do you girls have to say about that?

  10. I treat my wife fucking fine. I don’t do none of that gay shit. She’s fucking happy, she fucking cums every night. And I’m in love with her. Shut your damn feminist mouthes.

  11. Yeah, a guy should at least try to do a few of those things. But sometimes I find that it makes no difference.

    Example: I am a man. I was recently in love with a girl. I picked up the check everywhere we went. When she went into one of her moods where the “world was out to get her” and she blamed me for all her problems, I was patient with her, and forgave her. I started taking her to work a lot of the time. When we had sex, it was her way, or no way and I dealt with that and never complained (for the guys reading this post, she got off everytime, or at least claimed to). I told her I loved her and I made sacrifices for her. I may not have been perfect, but I sure as hell tried.

    about a month into things, I didn’t have any money on me to buy her a starbucks coffee. She, naturally, went ballistic. A few days later, after she had been snowballing into an increasingly worse mood by the day, she decides to inform me that she slept with another man . . . a satanist in fact (I am NOT making that up). I kept my head and didn’t go fucking insane in my apartment over it, and told her that we could work things out. Today, she is still with said Satanist and I could drop off the face of the earth for all that she cared.

    my point: Sometimes putting work into a relationship isn’t worth it, and if ladies want the perfect man perhaps they should try to meet the relationship half way or at least make some attempt to show love in return. Just as a woman shouldn’t be a slave to a man, a man shouldn’t be a slave to the woman. I really get fed up with people posting on sites like this about how their boyfriends who are so awful and don’t treat them right when the woman who have those same boyfriends treat them as walking checkbooks (I realize that by posting on a site like this myself within itself defines irony, but whatever).

    Finding the right woman/man? Heh, grab a couple bottles of rum, it’ll be a damn long time before you find that.

  12. I’d been raised thinking that way was right. I opened doors, took home roses with no expectations, pulled out chairs in restaurants, held her hand crossing the street.

    I treated my wife like it says above, I still love her even though she kicked me out after hooking up with one of my friends. Now nobody speaks to me; friends or family.

    And that’s how one woman can destroy a world.

  13. Antithesis, i’m sorry that girl treated you that way – no one deserves that. On the other hand, you should have realized in the beginning that she would be that kind of girl by taking all from you and not giving anything in return.

    As for number 3 and 4 (rob and “a man”), you just haven’t found the right girl yet that you’d be willing to do that for!

    Don’t read sooo much into entry. It’s just conveying how one person believes unabashed affection is shown. everyone has their own ways. geez people. it’s not “feminist” or whatever other extreme word you want to label it. I would hope that girls in love with their guys would do the same/similar things for them.

  14. If this poem is feminist, I am ashamed. Since when did love have such specific criteria to be met, the failure of which results in a woman’s mental and emotional breakdown? Not to mention the breakdown of her common-sense and maturity?

    I would like to believe that this is “one person’s interpretation” but it has the tone of a “message to all women.”

    Perhaps if women in our society (not all women, but there are many who do this) stopped playing the “prove you love me with cliche antics” game, they could really meet someone they like and then learn to love them for who they are and how they ACTUALLY show affection toward you.

    My BF is a scatterbrained nerd who is crass and says awkward things in public. I am totally crazy about him.

    Its nice to be loved and love someone else, and it seems like love is stronger when it is genuine, not when you are trying to re-enact Dirty Dancing or Princess Bride.

  15. this poem is obviously not for everyone.

    either you like it or you dont…

    – “that’s why they make cars in all different colors.”

  16. Oh my goodness my boyfriend does all of these things and just reading this poem and realizing that makes me feel even more lucky to have him. He is an amazing guy, and i do just the same for him. He’s absolutely perfect and he deserves nothing but the best. this poem is beautiful, and I feel so happy to have a guy who does all that. =)

  17. I found this guy!! And no he is most definatley not gay~ you guys who think this kind of behavior is lame~stupid or “gay” watch out someday you’re gonna be all alone someday~~ OH and by the way he is a navy diver with a seal unit!~ and he is my husband!

  18. I think it’s love when the women wants to and does everything mentioned in the poem back for her man.

  19. oh and Ssgt Riley!! Clean it up…
    and Antitheisis Im sorry it doesnt sound like it was your fault..she needs help~~ or at least a pill!! Not everyone is as manic as she is..male or female..Dont give up.. pretty hard to snuggle with a bottle of rum!

  20. This little piece isn’t that bad. It’s sweet. However I would never expect: “who calls you back when you hang up on him” and come on this: “or will stay awake just to watch you sleep” is just creepy.

  21. This poem is about idealistic western love based in a long tradition of gallantry, sacrifice and (unfortunately) disney.

    though it is beautiful and heart warming I know that the definition it provides is not applicable for most people

    Stop analyzing it like it’s the end of the world and to all those who read this and apply it to your life you’re making a horrible decision by limiting yourself to people like me, stereotypical nice guys who in reality are most likely not your primary interested.

    It’s not feminist either, feminism is fundamentally about achieving a balance between the sexes. If anything it’s mildly misandristic as it seeks to indenture men to women through a set of unrealistic guidelines and devotion rites.

    Generally though, it’s a nice poem. It’s innocent and hopeful, the stuff dreams are made of. Think of it like a dream and then embrace reality, never letting it totally fade away. That’s all poetry is for, to create a place, a smell or feeling. To encapsulate a time or an idea.

    No rum, warm sake!

  22. jones Says:
    January 6, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    this poem is obviously not for everyone.

    either you like it or you dont…

    …I’d have to disagree with the above response. I personally think this is a simple, sweet love poem, but I don’t completely agree with it.

    It all has to do with expectations. First of all, expectations are evil. The more expectations you have the more likely you’re going to be let down.

    A girl shouldn’t expect her boyfriend to just randomly buy her roses one day the same way a guy shouldn’t expect his girlfriend to volunteer a blow job. Seriously, expectations suck.

    Now some of you DO have significant others that are just that great. Good for you. I’d wonder how balanced your relationship is but that’s not my business….

    For most of us, its a treat when our boyfriend tries at some romantic gesture or says something very sweet. It doesn’t happen 24/7, and they may forget to open the door for us sometimes, but we know they loves us. It’s just in their own way.

    …And their own way may not always be a Hollywood chick-flick romance…..

    So, as stated previously, expectations suck.

    A girl shouldn’t EXPECT these things. She should be happy and appreciate them when they happen. She should let her guy know how much she loves him, too. If she’s not doing the things he likes, then why should he even attempt at pleasing her?

    Give & Take, people.

    I’m a die hard hopeless romantic and I liked this poem. But I want to see this poem in a guy’s eyes. I think girls should know what a guy wants to. But in taste, please. Not X-rated. :)

    My boyfriend is a tall, lazy nerd who enjoys playing DnD and Starcraft. Sometimes he may play video games a bit too long but he’ll always have time to build a Lego castle with me or watch a movie. He’s completely oblivious sometimes but he knows to get my chocolate when I’m sad and massages me shoulders when I get home from work….sometimes. Like, I said, he’s not perfect, but I know he loves me and appreciates me for ME.

    ….And I’m the luckiest girl alive.


  23. Nice poem ! I really liked it.

    I was like that (almost) to a girl. We were together for more than 4 years. But it did not last. Life is sometimes too complicated to explain or understand.

  24. Rhiesa spoke more to my heart than this poem. Your review was perfect and I seriously can’t add to it. I know this comment seems pointless, but I just wanted you to know I admired your work:)

  25. I’m a women, and I don’t expect that shit. I want a guy who’ll screw me hard and play video games and is nice. I expect him to do little things – hold open doors, let me around his friends, etc. But I sure as hell aren’t going anywhere out of the house in sweatpants.

    Maybe I’m just so awesome and don’t expect the world from men because I’m a nerd, and an attractive one at that. Maybe you girls just need to loosen up.

  26. Oh my GOD would all of you shut up? Seriously, it’s a stupid poem that someone wrote because they were in love with someone or thought they were. Who cares?

    Guys, no one cares if you think other guys are gay. Shut your idiot mouths and go back to being latently homoerotic with your moron friends.

    Girls, this poem is a series of occasional sweet deeds that are being rambled off like a grocery list of what to look for. That’s cynical and idiotic. Some guys are sweet some aren’t. If you found one you like, good for you, but no one here cares. If you didn’t and you like this, no one cares.

    No one cares about anyone else’s opinions. No one cares what I’m typing right now. And (I’m aware of the irony) sending a two-sentence criticism to some person who doesn’t know you, doesn’t care about you, probably hates you on principle and trying to change his mind when it’s clearly anathema to him and he is offended by the whole concept…

    That’s the greatest example of idiocy I’ve ever even seen.

    All of you shut your imbecile mouths and go do something productive like killing each other.

  27. Oh and to “that one guy”… being friend-zoned absolutely sucks. I’m apologising on behalf of all women, we make stupid decisions sometimes, we really do. I recently friend-zoned a guy who ticked all the boxes, and frankly I don’t really understand why. I regret it already. lol.

  28. i have that guy, and we’ve been married for 8 years! i love him more today than i did yesterday and will love him more tomorrow than i do today.

  29. You girls are full of shit! You’ve got NOOOO idea what you want. You NEVER happy. You will do anything to find a strong alpha “real” man. Than you will do anything to make a doormat out of him. And then when he’s a doormat and jumps through all your hoops you will loathe and discard him for that! You’ve got to be a dumbest dimwit to listen to a girl on how to treat her- she’s GOT NO IDEA!! In my 31 years of vast experience I can tell you only one rule is ROCK SOLID. Listen up!- “WHOEVER CARES LESS- WINS!” That’s right whoever cares/loves less in the relationship, is in control of that relationship. And I don’t want to hear any whining from you chicks- all you interested in is making us go with the program- YOUR program. That’s why you say-“I don’t want a guy who plays games…” What you mean is-“I don’t want a guy who KNOWS how to play games” It’s because YOU play them all the time and afraid to deal with a worthy/knowledgeable opponent. You rather walk all over a chump.
    Peace out.

  30. Max, While you do have a point (most girls don’t know what they want to an extent) we do still want someone who treats us good. We don’t however want a yes man.

    We want a “Alpha Male” as you call it. Someone who will not put up with our shit (which we are full of) but at the same time it’s the approch you take. If you are always the one who loves less, you will never find true love, although it really doesn’t sound like you are looking for it.

    With women, it’s not a game, more… a test.

    Women need security, we want to know you think we are beautiful even when we don’t feel we are. We want to be secure in the fact that even though we get mad, you’ll be there to comfort us and work things out.
    It doesn’t make you a pussy, or a floor mat!!

    Women really aren’t that complicated, most things a woman will do is a test (whether they realize it or not) of your devotion. Once you pass, you’re in the clear and she will devote herself to you.

    A good relationship starts with communication and honesty. If you feel you are being mistreated SAY SO! That is never our intention, especially if we claim to love you.

    It’s all about finding that balance.

    By the way ladies, QUIT TESTING THEM!
    They never pass!! Instead talk to them (hopes, fears, insecurities). If they love you, they will listen. If for whatever reason you can’t talk to them then you shouldn’t be together, it will just cause you both pain.

    Men, you don’t always have to fix everything! Most the time, we just want you to listen and actually hear us. Sympathy if you will. If you are treating your girl like crap, knock it off! She doesn’t deserve it. Neither of you will be happy if you do. If the woman aint happy, NO ONE is happy!


  31. Alright, so I didn’t read all the comments (short attention span), but what I read, most of the guys in the beginning are pathetic, Sgt Riley is dead on, as well as the guy with the long story about some Satanist. Yes, I’m a chick, but hey, guys are GUYS who will act as such for a reason. Not giving anyone an excuse to be a coldhearted asshole, but seriously, if I wanted a girl for a partner I’d be a lesbian. What if a guy wrote a poem that said how he wished girls really were? We’d call him a sexist pig. Girls do it and aw it’s sweet. Also, as per “nice guy who is just friends,” I’ve known several of you guys who say that. You’re actually self-absorbed asses. Aaannnywayy.

    Ladies: stop being so whiny and dreamy. Men are men, women are women, and it’s selfishness to demand a guy to act how you think he should act.

    Guys: same goes to you, I guess, minus the whiny dreamy stuff. Unless you are that, then my God stop that. Wimp.

  32. Why should anyone NEED a man to call them beautiful? You should know that without having to hear your boyfriend or husband say it. This panders to the age old stereotype that if a man appreciates you sexually, he is not into romantically, and vice versa; better not let him think you’re too into sex; “bad boys” just want to sleep with you; “good boys” are characters in Meg Ryan movies played by Tom Hanks or Bill Pullman, they’ll give you nice tender (but chaste) kisses on the forehead and show you off as a trophy, as the “good girl they want to marry,” to all their friends.

    Why can’t you have a guy who thinks you’re beautiful but wants to slam you against a wall, kiss you so hard you nearly cream your panties, grab a handful of your hair, whip you around, yank down your pants and pound the living daylights out of you?

  33. I don’t think this is “gay” or “lame” at all. however, I do think it’s complete and utter bullshit. It never gives a single suggestion for what the woman is to do except hang up on him and see if he’s whipped enough to call back. Sure, all that stuff is sweet and nice, but if you’re the kind of selfish bitch that won’t give anything in return, you don’t deserve that guy. For the record, I am that guy, except for the hanging up part, and I’ve only found one or two girls that actually appreciate it, as opposed to those who expect it.
    It makes me sick, the way women bitch and moan about being equal, because the truth is, they don’t want equality, they want special treatment. I honestly believe that the vast majority of women in the civilized world wouldn’t reciprocate such displays of affection and it’s pathetic.

    Ladies, if you believe chivalry is dead, I can almost guarantee you it’s your own fault, or the fault of those like you, and not your man’s. You gotta show love to get love. Maybe if you’d do the male equivalent of even a few of those things on that list, you’d see a change in the behavior of the man in your life.

  34. This was obviously written by a girl who fell into the fairy tale trap. Women today think they are supposed to be swept off their feet. A relationship is give and take…you can’t expect your man to be perfect.

    Not to mention…that I’m a girl and I hate when a guy tries to hold my hand in public!

  35. I’m surprised Kasey is single, a hot nerd who enjoys her fair share of sex? I’d kill to find a girl like that.

  36. So, I’m a female and I find this absurd. I like my boyfriend with a spine thanks.

    A compliment is a compliment. Point is it should be sincere. When they call back, catty bitches tear them apart again. I’d drug his water if he stayed up all night to watch me. I don’t want him to DIE in a car accident.

    And don’t lie bitches, you probably like sex just as much as your man. Consecutive orgasms. Google it.

  37. I have a man Like that and let me tell you it works both ways men and women. I have been with my husband for almost 11 years and it feels like new love every day. We are fast approaching our 5 year wedding anniversary and I am in the process of making it something very special. Men are sensitive creatures once you crack their outter shell. I love my man more and more every day. Actions speak louder than words ;)

  38. Goodness! One or two or TEN bad experiences with women isn’t indicative of ALL women. If you are going to judge all of us or how you should act based on one or two women, you are ALWAYS going to be bitter and alone.

    Mr. & Ms. Perfect don’t exist, but Mr.& Ms. Works-hard-at-loving-you-and-treating-you-well do exist.

    Remember that all of your relationships are going to fail until one doesn’t. Deciding to be an a-hole (if you’re a man or woman)because someone burned you is only damaging you and your future relationships.

  39. i have dont this many of times but i always get fuckn put down or cheated on or hurt or lied to or used fuck that shit imma just wait n find the right one n not speed anything up i know imma a good guy but i just need to find a girl to be good to me dang then again im still young only 19 i got fuckn time n i guess idk what love really is

  40. I feel this way about my wife, and I tell her everyday. Why wouldn’t you tell her if you were lucky enough to be married to her?

  41. I have a boyfriend and in the beginning of our relationship, I began to expect him to do certain things and not really doing anything for him in return. I think that I was starting to form my love life around romantic novels, disney, and most of all–chick flicks….and my boyfriend told me about my problem. So I fixed it. The best thing to do is to expect nothing or very little, and there is no way that you can be unhappy. You know you’re in love when you want to do something sweet because it will make him happy–not because you feel obligated to.

    On an unrelated note, I also don’t understand why girls don’t like video games!!!! They’re freakin’ awesome!!!! I love Mario Kart, Supersmash Brothers Brawl and Diablo II!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  42. Oh and for the guys who let women walk all over you, tell them to stop, and make them see how much you are sacrificing for them. If they can’t appreciate that, then you should be with someone else…seriously, don’t waste your time with bitches, you’re gonna’ get hurt.

  43. A little bit shallow, perchance, certainly not feminist, although the “calls you back” thing is a little manipulative, but above all else, doesn’t deserve all of the hype and the hatefulness it has garnered. I found it on StumbleUpon, and I bet half of the other commenters did too…

  44. hhahahahah, this is my a wonderful source of fucking comedy. Stop worrying about love and shit, live and let live. You do it once and high school get dumped then sleep with randoms till you are 27, it’s great for life experience, get married, die. That love shit slows you down…

  45. This verse is beautiful and oh so true. Unfortch, I met this man and he was all the wonderful things that you describe…until he drank

  46. Ben, you’re absolutely correct. I’m tired of the insipidity of the mouth-breathing masses. You people should all go kill yourselves.

  47. Don’t let your girl play those games
    where she piss and moan and you she blames

    What every girl will want and nead
    Is a real man to take the lead

    They games she plays is all a test….
    so smarten up, don’t act like the rest…

    Be a man, put her in her place,
    Or show the door to her face..

    In other words don’t be a wuss … women walk all over wussy little men….they love to be told no you can’t have that no, i ain’t buying that, yes i am going out with the boys….

    No watch all the ladies react, but they all have gone out with Mr Asshole and will continue to be attracted to that type — it is in their genes…

  48. I can honestly say I do everything on the list except hold hands (I do hold hands but not very often)
    I think everything mentioned is just the right thing to do :D ps.I’m not gay

  49. I hate to burst bubbles but would you not be just aswell to find a slave. Hanging up on someone and expecting them to call you back is pretty shallow. Dont get me wrong,the guy sounds like a sweetheart but most women would use those qualities as a doormat.

  50. I have done all these things and the thought of guy don’t do it for me.
    Keep them ladies happy and you’ll be happier for it guys!
    If she walks on you she hasn’t got a clue what a real man is.
    There’s nothin’ sexier than a happy lady!

  51. i’ve read almost all the comments and its a pot full of opinions of all sorts…some people agree with the poem…both guys and girls…some disagree, some don’t give a crap and wishes everyone would just die along with all the “love” talk…

    well here’s my part…if you don’t want to hear it…you really don’t have to read it..if you read it then say you don’t care then uhh…that just makes you dumb.

    I am that guy…with the exception of the call back thing…you hang up on me…i never call you again :) simple. Yeah I’ve been through the whole love thing. I onced loved a girl so much that i randomly wrote her poems just to give her an idea of how much i loved her…she cried for everyone of them…joyful tears though :D. She wasn’t perfect and neither was i…but that made me love her all the more.

    We had the best relationship two people in love can ask for…but in the end…like most “nice” guys…she preferred me as her friend…and well…i guess i let her know in the nicest way possible that she can kiss my ass :D

    Cuz well..i was always there for her…the good times and the bad…then when i noticed i was putting in more effort for her then she was for me and i spoke out about it she decided that well…atleast i had my fill of this guy and suggested that we be friends. That was a bowl full of pain but that’s life. I won’t label all girls ungratefull b**** that don’t know what they want just because of her…but i would be more careful.

  52. haha Damn people.
    Everyone is different, some girls like this some girls don’t.
    If you did this to a girl and she broke up with you, shes does not have this view point.
    Another girl might like this, then that is her viewpoint.
    You know, sometimes you try too hard and automatically think that this is what every woman wants when obviously it isn’t. And that is the simple explanation of all your damn problems. Now, get on with your lives. =)

  53. If anybody really cared about that stuff I wouldn’t be single. Unless you can talk easily and flex impressively then just sit in a corner and get used to it.

  54. Destiny, Thank you for a piece of your thought,- most of it was on target. The truth is I’ve ended long term relationship three months ago. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be- the world of pain. I guess I didn’t “pass the test” as you say.

  55. It’s far too easy to come on some anonymous website and spout drivel to anyone who stumbles across it. I’m not talking about the poem, either, though that level of saccharine insipidity has been known to cause diabetes in dead people.

    No, the back and forth debate of unqualified, unimaginative, far too smug individuals is among the greatest proofs of the decline of the human spirit and intellect.

    Guys, if you want to get the girl of your dreams, ignore this poem in its entirety. Every person is different, but girls almost universally respond to confidence, affability and not giving all the decision-making power in the relationship to the girl before the relationship ever starts. “Can I buy you a drink?” More like, “Can I pay you to spend time with me.”

    Be yourself insofar as you shouldn’t lie about who you are or what your interests are. But be a little more confident than you think you deserve. Be more teasing and put women on less of a pedestal. They’re just people. Here’s a novel thought: Talk to them like they’re people instead of objects to be won.

    Girls, if you want guys to behave like the content of this poem, stop responding to the assholes who tear you down a little bit. Stop being intrigued by the guys you can’t trust all the way. Stop being attracted to the cocky morons who know exactly how to treat you to get what they want.

    I’ve been on both sides of this equation, by the way. Had a few relationships that ended in disaster when I was a very nice guy. So I tried being an asshole and had more interest than I knew what to do with. Regardless of what girls claim intellectually, the reality of the situation is that you respond to confident assholes who make you a little unsure of yourself.

  56. I’ve married 20 years. It would be nice for a woman to find a man that treats her nice. All i wanted from a woman were the same things. I ended up with a woman that has made me look forward to my death. All these poems about how a man should treat some lady….. damn.
    When a man becomes some woman’s knight in shining armor and caries her standard. She shoots arrows in his back and belittles him.
    my armor is rusty and full of holes… not so friendly fire.
    Dont preach to me ladies. Most of you will only deal in misery.

  57. Hahaha. Don’t be so pathetic. It’s your life, if you don’t like something about it CHANGE IT!
    Divorce, separate do whatever makes you happier with your life. The last thing you should do is bitch and put every other woman into the same category just because you made the wrong choice.

  58. My man treats me like the poem, but he’s not a rug. We both pay for everything, not just him, we both hold each other’s hands and show each other off. Every time I shave my legs he puts lotion on them, he comes home from a long day of work and I have dinner ready for him and a clean home and I cuddle him to help him relax. If I work, he cleans for me. He treats me like a queen, I treat him like a king. Equality is what is important – if a guy thinks his woman is demeaning him or emasculating him – she is a psycho b*tch and he needs to leave her. If you are the one paying for everything and she freaks out at you for not paying – well, don’t ignore the signs of crazy psycho b*tches. They try to show you who they really are (a crazy psycho b*tch), and when you don’t realize it until they sleep with ten other guys and you finally find out, that is YOUR fault. It’s not because you’re too nice, it’s because you didn’t set up boundaries, you didn’t set up a relationship based on equality, and you wanted to stay in a relationship with someone who was obviously unhinged and evil. Have some self-respect!!

    Guys are on here complaining that they’re nice to their ladies and their ladies are mean, but what they described was being lame. If my man did everything I said and it was my way or no way, he’d be lame. I’d punch him in the non-existent balls, and he wouldn’t mind because he would be f-ing lame. But if I am being unfair are mean or whatever, he will tell me, not just let me do what I want, and I’ll apologize and strive to be better. Neither one of us is perfect, but that doesn’t matter if we both desire to build each other up and to love each other in a self-respecting way – self-respecting in that, sure we may mess up, but if I’m cheating on him or if he’s hitting me we wouldn’t accept that crap from each other!!!

    And guys wanna say that being nice ends in disaster but being a jerk wins the girl – evolutionarily being a jerk may work with a lot of women because alpha males tended to be confident jerks and they were genetically desirable. Being a jerk doesn’t make a happy relationship for either party nowadays, however. Being a pushover doesn’t end well, either.

    I may have only been with my man for five years, but I know we’re going to last because we respect each other and ourselves. If we have a problem we tell each other, we don’t just hide it. Maybe I don’t know anything about anything, but I know that neither my man nor myself are complaining about how we treat each other, and we certainly are not complaining about this poem!

  59. And yet you took all that time out of your paradise to slum it with us idiots. That’s kind of you.

    Being in a loving, unselfish relationship is great. Once you’re there, trying to make the other person as special as you think they are is great.

    If you walk around acting like the guy in the poem, you will fail at life.

    Self-confidence, self-respect, and a healthy dose of self-centeredness would do wonders for most people in the world. That’s rational self-centeredness, by the way; the kind that says rationally the self has to come first at the end of the day.

    Telling people that dating someone who turns out to be a crazy psycho bitch is their own fault is like saying going out on a date with a guy who turns out to be a rapist is the girl’s own fault. You should leave someone who excoriates you or emasculates you, but often there’s little way of knowing what type of person someone TRULY is until you’ve spent some time with them.

    There are risks inherent in being social and to trivialize the hurt and negative experience of others because YOU’VE been fortunate enough to find someone whom you both love and respect and vice versa, well that’s just a whole lot of something not very complimentary.

    Good for you for finding someone. Shame on you for your blatant and narcissistic insensitivity.

  60. expectations are necessary. without expectations, there would be more abusive people in this world. i EXPECT respect and love. and if i dont get that from my relationship, its over. i EXPECT to be treated with love and care. i think every girl has expectations. like most women expect their bfs will be kind and won’t beat them.
    everyone needs expectations.

  61. for those guys who think this poem is stupid obviously have never felt real love cause once you have all that will make sence and for you ladies keep looking you’ll find him some day. PS this is a beautifull poem

  62. You Stupid Little Boys Need To Grow Up…This Is What A Man Does When He Is In-Love…The Hanging Up Part Is A Little Over Board…But I Have This Man…And No…I Dont Walk All Over Him…Its Called Respect And Love For One Another!

  63. Oh okay Man. First of all pull your head out of your chauvinistic ass and listen up.

    Real men are the men that do these things, real men aren’t the men (like you I am guessing) that classify their women as objects and not real people.

    Obviously you are jealous of this authors love for his girl. And the only way you can come out of your self pity is to make fun of them and call him gay.

    If you dont agree with his writing, strap your balls on, be a man, and move on. What kind of a man gets on the internet probably drinkin his beer and eatin his hot wings taking a time off from the game to get on the internet to put down someone elses work when the only decent thing you can write about is that your not man enough to make a women feel like she is one in a million. Seriously get a life. I feel sorry for any women that dates you and hopefully she will realize that there are many better men out there then you.

    My boyfriend does all of these things and more for me. And all the men that do do this for their girls are more of a man then you will ever be.

  64. Pingback: Find A Guy Who Calls You Beautiful - Relationships - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women... - City-Data Forum

  65. Pingback: Find A Guy Who Calls You Beautiful - Relationships - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women... - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

  66. Every single line of this poem is bullshit and offensive. Every single one except the very first one.
    find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
    – the least offensive line is still not universal. Sometimes girls want to feel sexy and hot instead of lovely and beautiful.

    who calls you back when you hang up on him,
    – Because girls love clingy, pansy-ish guys and guys love emotional abuse.

    who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
    – This implies all sorts of weird things

    or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…
    – creepy, obsessive, stalkerish behaviour. Two months later, they’ll find your body.

    wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
    – I think most girls want to be kissed on the lips, frankly and maybe some other places. Forehead is occasional but is also patronizing and paternal.

    who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
    – because no girl is self-conscious when wearing her frumpiest clothes. That’s when they WANT to be shown off.

    who holds your hand in front of his friends,
    – because the love you share isn’t enough unless you make people uncomfortable by being blatant about it. Just hit them in the face with a used condom. It amounts to the same thing.

    who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on.
    – so he’s either an idiot or you waste thousands of dollars on products that do nothing.

    one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
    – because there’s no way for you to know if he doesn’t say it again and again. Forget actions speak louder than words. Fuck actions. Words are the way to go.

    and how lucky his is to have you…
    – because you settled

    the one who turns to his friends and says,
    “that’s her!”
    – because nothing says love like objectifying people and talking about them like they’re not there.

    Fuck this nonsense.

  67. lovely piece of work…
    i am a guy
    its 3.30 in the morning and i am not able to sleep all cuz my baby isnt with me
    she is in another country miles away from me and i miss her so much…
    the worst thing is we cant contact each other thru phone…all we have is yahoo messenger we have a fixed time to meet but i always come on in gaps of 15 minuted and check if shes on….
    i miss her so much i just wanna hold her hands and tell her how much i love her….
    the is the best thing thats happened to me and the strangest thing is…. shes 10 years older than me…
    yet we love eavh other a lot

    visit my webpage for some poetry and talks on life

  68. The dude up there is right,
    “This excerpt should be more explicit: “find a guy who will let you walk all over him””.

    I agree with what the ‘message’ of this excerpt says, find a guy who isn’t all about your looks, and even though in a perfect fantasy, nobody cares about looks, the sad truth in the matter is looks do count, and a lot.

    All the “hot” women will get every guys attention whether they admit it or not, its our nature, but all we see is a piece of meat to fuck, nothing more. Who we stay with, and who we love, depends on YOUR traits, YOUR personallity, what YOU can offer us.

    This is true for both male and female, but males do consider sexual acts a big part of your traits, not to be a slut, but just a slut to us.

    Think before responding, think hard, because who wants to date someone that constantly expects you to be better than you can be, and to devote your whole life to this persons existence. We all have needs, so be fair, treat people as you want to be treated.

  69. This is the saddest think on the internet. Someone wants to say something nice and true and all it does is make ppl act stupid and angry. I don’t think that was the purpose of this and I think u all should keep your negative opinions to yourself because the world would be a better place if u did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  70. this is so sweet…

    but a guy who does this must really like a girl.
    and why do people have such negative opinions about this x)

    PS. i love you Bella =)

  71. How sad! You prefer the services of a whore and housekeeper to a life partner and soul mate. You are missing out on so much joy Rob!

  72. I say hang in there. Someone who will value you is out there!
    Often girls want this type of man, but because our society has overemphasized male sexuality, many girls believe that their value lies in their looks and how attracted men are to them. often the men they attract that way are not the type to value them or treasure them. Unfortunately it can take some tome for women to grow to the place where they can appreciate and value men like you.

  73. Some men are assholes and don’t treat the women in their lives respectfully, but you bring up a valid point that many women do the same thing. Many of them play games and use people.
    Using people isn’t a male or female thing…its a broken people thing. Broken people hurt other people, that’s what they do.

    That doesn’t negate the fact that the ideal situation is a relationship where both partners love and respect one another.

  74. Thank you so much Blueeyes, because I was about to say the same things, but with much more “colorful” word choices. Honestly, that guy is a major dick. I showed my girlfriend this after a friend had sent it to me, and she had this giant smile on and said, “This is completely you!” and now has it on facebook for all her friends to see. Every guy should treat their better half exactly this way and even more.

  75. That’s how I was too man, and I’ve found the one girl that I completely love. She’s absolutely amazing! You’ll find her, you will.

  76. There are a couple ways to take the “Who will call back” line, but ultimately I agree with A Man;

    If it were an accident (and anticipating that it was, you might as well grant her the benefit of the doubt) there is no reason to create hositilites/mistrust over AT&T’s FAIL.

    If she is doing it as some sort of mind game test, then what is that? Why would you make someone’s ego vulnerable without their consent? That is not a very caring thing to do. Perhaps he is more sensitive than average and takes it as a dismissal of him; perhaps a lot of things go through his mind. None of them, save the bad connection, is really positive.

    I’m not sure what a gay man has to do with it; his relationship with a woman would be platonic and so the whole dynamic is different. Men as a group, (as in to have women all to ourselves) is pretty much a given, excluding homosexuals of both sexes. Then again, that’s a pretty large group.

  77. Girls like to pretend this is the sort of man that they want, but when they find him, they will soon lose any genuine attraction they have for him, and end up cheating on him because instead they are attracted to some guy who has the attitude of “Next!” when women act in immature ways, such as hanging up on guys.

    It sounds to me like you’re looking for a worshipper, and not a lover. That sort of behavior is not gay, but it is the textbook definition of a submissive human being, who is working to impress someone.

    Tell me, what exactly is “true” about telling someone else to find a certain type of man? This poem comes to no conclusions about anything, just demands for other people to do things. Sounds like the author has no clue how dominating and possessive she sounds.

  78. Women would love to believe that men will love them regardless of looks so that they don’t have to feel bad about eating too many bonbons. There is an old quote that says, “There are no ugly girls, just lazy ones.”

    Any girl that wants a guy to be attracted to her regardless of physical appearance does not understand the way mammal attraction works in the animal kingdom. It’s a cruel world out there, in the jungle, or in the concrete jungle.

  79. I have a guy that does all of this, and to be honest, I feel kind of smothered. Some days I am more grateful than others, though. There has to be a nice medium between the guy in this “poem” and one of those dicks that posted up in the beginning.

  80. If you do then you should consider yourself very lucky. The guy in the poem could make a few changes to adjust. Why wouldn’t you help him do that? To most people happiness of this caliber is just an illusion. Don’t ever take that for granted. Or I guess you could just get stuck with someone who does the bare minimum, says they love you and don’t, and in 5 years you’ll realize what you missed out on.

  81. your stupid im one of those guys the fact that your asexist pig doesnt mean you know everything. step outside and smell the roses just because you act like the way this poem says does not make you gay afterall im not.

  82. I think the sentiments expressed in this post are all good. At first I thought they might be twilight-inspired and thought “yeah, hold out for Edward and you’ll be single forever.” But it seems they only align slightly with those books. I think the important message is that a girl should hold out for a guy who loves her for who she is and isn’t embarrassed about it.

    As for the sentiments expressed in the comments, there is a valid point being made. While it is suggested that such actions are “gay” I would say these guys just need to shove it. They’re emotionally stunted by the prescription that men should show no emotion, for it is weakness. These men are deluded and need to lighten up. However, it is important that a man (or woman) not allow their partner to “walk all over them”. The problem stems from the fact that a woman may lose respect for a man that she can control. However, this post does not say “hold out for a man you can manipulate.” My assumption is that this would come with the prescription that you should be the type of woman that does not take advantage of such a man.

    Judging from the fact that the women here have expressed the desire to have such a partner, I think we can safely say they would appreciate it should they find one.

    At the same time, we should all do what we do because we want to. No one is obligated to do anything, nor is anyone owed anything. It took a bad marriage and a divorce to teach me that lesson. You have to be able to say “no” when you want to say it, but you have to be willing to say “yes” as well.

    There’s nothing wrong with being romantic. There’s nothing wrong with showing her that you care. Now, if you make your self out like a “sissy” in the process, you may still lose her respect. It is difficult to find the proper balance so I suggest not trying to find it at all. Just be who you are and do what you want to do. If she doesn’t go for it, you’ll both move on and change from the experience. Eventually, you’ll find what you’re looking for and when you find it, hold onto it.

  83. I were just this guy, been it for 2 years. And for some stupid reason, my girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago..

  84. “They see e trollin’…”

    Hey dick-weed, I do all the things on that list. Straight as a board, thank you very much.

  85. wow…pretty words…
    why people have to put negative reaction against it…
    women do want expectations…
    but also goes with the guy…
    and it is actually depends on the girl’s feeling n the way the guy live up to this expectations…
    but i think guys have to be themselves instead of having to live to these expectations…
    n girls just have to go with the flow…
    that way, love would be so much wonderful…

  86. Micheal, sometimes we as women don’t always see or appreciate guys like you… we get distracted and we take guys like you for granted. Sometimes we’re shallow and we don’t realize how lucky we are to have a guy like you until after we break up with you. Sometimes we have to learn things the hard way. We’re human, not perfect. I’m not giving an excuse. It’s terrible and completely wrong that we do things like that. But think. Maybe it really just wasn’t meant to be, and that there’s another girl out there that was specifically made for you. Just wait for her. For right now, have fun. Enjoy life for all it’s worth. Do things you can’t do when you’re tied to another person. And thanks for reminding me to be careful in the way I treat my boyfriend. I know I’m guilty in taking him for granted. And if you don’t mind, I’ll keep you in my prayers. If you’d rather me not, just say so and I won’t.

  87. I had past relationships and NONE of them even made that. But you guys who thinks this is shit. IT IS NOT. In order to have a nice relationship with each other you have to be BALANCED. Both should treat them right. But people are DIFFERENT. Some girls wants a relationship to be WILD. Some wants it to be calm and easy. It’s just that it ain’t our lives were talking about. Find a guy or a girl that is like you. Know him better and in that way you guys will be happy.

  88. That’s so beautiful :) I held this criteria up to one of my previous boyfriends… After 7 months he confessed he never loved me in the first place and had been cheating on me (As I had suspected but never spoke about.)Not to say all men like that are the same, my best friend found someone like that and she’s very happy :)

    I just wish I was less shy, the man of my dreams is so close… but I can’t even say have a casual conversation with him without choking up and wishing I could say what I really meant.

  89. Antithesis

    Where have you been all my life?!
    Had the same thing happen to me. But I’m female.. guy cheated on me with my best firend, used me, lied etc. And I did everything for him. And I’m not acting like it was all his fault. It really was.

    But anyway….. Antithesis… if you’re out there. drop me a line!!

  90. zjrd27


    I’m sorry for what you went through with your boyfriend, I know how that is. I’m glad my story hit home for you, and I’m sure that after you went through what you did with your boyfriend and then read my comment, I must seem something special. Well I doubt it, but if you want to try, then I’m willing to. My line is this: there is a small letter/number sequence starting with “z” at the top of this message, combine it with “at” goldmail dot etsu dot edu. You can reach me there.

    And Josh . . . my name is Josh.

  91. in these anyone who r wecating or who wnts to cum to mumbai & stay with ur is one flat is going to get free on july 13th.if u wnt u can cum to this address malad w mindspace serenity heights mumbai maharashtra 400064.

  92. LMAO just reading these idiotic comments makes laugh why? because you people clearly don’t seem to understand what poetry is. i myself am a poet and things like this are not to be taken literally. poetry is expressing emotion allowing you to feel, taste, smell what really is not there, it takes you to another time and place thats the beauty of poetry. this poem in particular sets out the FEELINGS that a couple will experience being making each other feel superior however this may not be done by sitting under the stars or watching your bf or gf fall asleep the poem basically encapsulates these feelings of superiority through the symbolism used.

  93. To whom it may concern,

    I Harry Tottszer am the original author of “find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot” quote. I posted the quote on my space in yr 10 2005 after a break up with my girlfriend at the time. It originally said “who wants to show you off to the world in your trackies” because here in Australia we call “sweats” “track pants”. I’m simply requesting the recognition of the quote i created. I would be highly appreciative if you recognized me (Harry Tottszer) as the original author that i am.

    Yours sincerely,

    Harry Tottszer

  94. As stupid as this is, its kinda an example of the ‘he’s just not that into you’ movie. This girl was the exception, all girls seek to be this. but most arnt. they are the rule.
    I found a guy i’m crushing on that calls me beudifull. but i don’t exspect to be the excetion. Nor would i ever really.
    Becuase for me love always dies. I am a skeptic on love. This is becuase my whole family hates eachother. how could love exsist? how could family hate each other so much and not have an ounce of love?
    Love isn’t a feeling. it’s a hormone.

  95. This is really cutee. but Dudee i have a boyfriend now and if i hung up on him he would get pissed and call me bck and be mad at me about it but still calls me bck and he is NOT gay. And i think a lot of guys should be like this becuz half the guys out in the world are stupid bitches and thinks they r better then everybody else and who can hit other girls which btw is soo not true so why even bother becuz they r stupid
    but girls really try to find a girl thats close to what it says up there becuz u dont’ need some low life guy who is fucking stupid
    and i do love what it says up there idc what people think
    Just saying(:

  96. Well said. Perfect sentiment. If you’ve got any more in you like this, please keep sharing with the world. A friend’s FB status quoted you, and I had to hunt it down to thank you.

  97. My gf broke up with me when she got this message on her phone!
    We’ve been dating for years. And now she wants a guy who would kiss her on the forehead. 3 years and now kissing on the lips is bad? She didnt feel so when she was sucking on my tongue. Arrrrggghhh…. Oh ya, and she needs a baby girl. Let’s see how she’s gonna get that with just kissing on the forehead and walking hand in hand. Dumb ass.
    For all the girls reading this poem…
    DONT TAKE THE LITERAL MEANING. Understand what it’s trying to convey and use your head.

  98. This made me smile and I’m soo happy to actually have someone like that <3
    And hey, not everyone is perfect, you just gota give all that you can and hope for the best.
    If it doesnt work out, then there's someone out there who's even better for you.

  99. To my Little King,

    Yesterday was my first day getting Internet since settling down. I wanted nothing more than to let you know…

    But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I did see your message, but for some unspeakable reason, I’m still paralyzed. My SAT is this Saturday… Maybe I’ll have enough courage then? But I signed up for two more to be taken in June… The month you were supposed to come. And you have AP exams coming up in the next two weeks…

    I miss you.

    I’m Thinking of You. I constantly am reminded of When I’m With You. I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing you do… Look, I’m even using full spelling and grammar like you.

    How was Nationals? I remember, I do, and I blew a kiss towards the stars, hoping that they sent my wishes your way. Are you excited for grad?

    Miss you.

    So this is what the poem describes? If I finally found him, the one who completely fits the bill… Why is he not by my side? Why is he so far away and the only warmth I feel from that arbitrary mental connection we have growing thinner by day? Why am I plagued by paradox – that I want nothing more than to contact him but am afraid to have him labelled as a distraction; digging my own stalemate? Why is the one person I miss the most a thousand miles away?


    I can only hope that he hasn’t lost hope. Only dream that he still trusts I miss him more than life. Only wish that I could hear his voice.

    I really do love the sound of your voice :) Please believe me, I’m not heartless… Just helpless.

    Your Penguin <3

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