my sleep has been terribly disturbed. it has been almost three months now. my neck and shoulders is sore from all the tossing and turning. i am increasingly clumsy in the office. i just bumped my knee on my drawer. it is bleeding now.
but i am hurt by a different sort of pain.
i know that i have posted these lyrics on this blog before. but i am feeling particularly miserable today. i have been trying and am still trying to concentrate on things that i have going for me. my masters. my photography. my writings.
but i am led down that downward spiral once again.
these days, the stars seem out of reach
these days, there ain’t a ladder on these streets
these days are fast
love don’t lasts in this graceless age
even innocence has caught the midnight train
i am weaker than i thought i would be. i am praying that someday i can say that this is just a phrase, and that weakness is just a natural part of being human, and that i will be not necessarily stronger, but wiser from this.
today may not be the day. but someday.