i am learning more and more everyday that the so-called mature, adult way of life requires a rather sizeable degree of hypocricy in order to ensure, ironically, a respectable survival.
despite demands for transparency, we so-called adults have to know when to keep our mouths shut and even if we do speak up, we have to choose words carefully. apparently, politeness is valued more in the world than honesty, and style is a more worthy judge of a person’s character, rather than intention.
score for goffman. a linguist.
i remain, increasingly uncomfortable with the hypocricy. it bothers me that a majority of the so-called modern and civilised world engage in this masked sorta society and don’t even realise it. what disturbs me more is the thought that people might not, and in many cases that i have personally experienced and observed, do not, accept people who are critically honest about how they feel and what they think.
if that dress or shirt or pants or hairstyle looks bad on you, would’t you want me to say it the way it is in your face? but no, you would rather i be polite, and flatter you, and let you go walk in public with that thing. if i think your decision might not be the best one, you don’t want me to suggest something else now, don’t you? you’re rather i let you do what you want, or rather, encourage you to go down the disasterous road. what’s even better, if i think you are being a supreme selfish bitch, i should just shut up, should’t i? because, heck, who am i to put you in your place?
we have turned into a society that don’t care about each other. we’ve turned shallow. we glaze everything with pretty and polite words and compromise things that should really matter such as constructive criticism and comments we can actually learn from. we have transformed into a society that judges people who are just being plain honest as obstructions on our path of so-called glory. we have killed intellectual exchange of ideas and claim anyone who has an alternative way of thinking as people who are trying to bring us down, as threats.
i spent the weekend with a woman whom i seriously wanted to give a piece of my mind to. my darling dearest wyn had to practically restrain me from the confrontation and it was hard trying to cool down after observing such blunt and blatant acts of selfishness and inconsideration.
i love my man. i have much to learn from him where patience is concerned. but i can’t help feeling angry over how this woman treats people around her. reflecting, i guess she would have misunderstood my intentions even if i did went ahead and pointed out her misdeeds.
but you see, that just goes to show how narrow our society has become. this issue may be just another one of those things about growing up and dealing with reality that i, as a lone individual, really cannot do much about. but even if this message reaches one person out there and provokes you into thought about how shallow our society has become, then i guess this blog entry is worth it.