what’s my age again?

what does it mean by that people should act their age? i mean, i’m going to be 25 in a coupla months, so how should a 25 year old act?

if you ask my folks, they’re going to break into that whole tale about how they were already married and expecting their first daughter by the time they were my age, and then of course, proceed with the standard no less than two hour lecture about when i am going to get myself hitched, potential candidates, what flowers i should have at the wedding and recommend names for my own first daughter.

is that really what 25 year olds are supposed to do, or the stage they are supposed to be at at this point in life? and then there are also the stories about cut off points to get married and make babies, and the lengthy lectures about if a girl does not get a man and have kids by the time they are 30, they’re doomed to be spinsters for life.

all i’m asking is this: who forgot to give me the manual on what i should do at certain points in my life?

it’s as if everything is planned, isn’t it? age 2: learn to walk, age 7: start going to school, age 12: upsr, age 15: pmr, age 17: spm, age 19: go to college, age 23: graduate and fid a job, age 25: get married, age 26: get first kid, age 55: retire. and if you don’t follow this plan, you’re either a bum, a rebel or a spinster for life who will end up cold and alone in an old folks home with a pet cat.

and i don’t even like cats.

i don’t like the whole scheduling routine. i think people should just be allowed to grow and be themselves, as long as they have a direction in life and some noble goal to achieve. its those people who think that life should be planned out this way that get on my nerves, people who believe that this way is the right way to go and shun onto people who choose their lives differently.

if living my life differntly makes me a wasted youth, then that’s what i am, and i have no qualms about it.

i don’t believe in people perscribing the stage of life they should be at at what age. the pressure is just plain unfair. i have a goal of what i want to achieve, and it might change, but if it does, it would be on my own account, and not because society says that it is my ‘time.’

i do believe however, in the dangers of being trapped within an inter-generation frame of mind. i know of several people who are well into mid life but still think that they are basking in the light of youth.

let me make the distinction of my contention clear. i believe that it is ok to live it out as if life was meant to be excited about forever because it is that short and all that living as if there is no tomorrow jazz. i have a problem however, with people acting like clueless giggly teens when they are approaching their 50s. it saddens me when a lady who should and i think would be experiencing menopause asks me why boys (not men, boys) don’t fancy her, when a woman this age giggles about ex-boyfriends, when women this age still try to wear flashy clothes and talk naughty around men. what’s more surprising is that i see these sort of women everywhere.

and so, in this light, it worries me. it worries me about the progression of life, and how is it going to play out eventually. the unknown scares me. i keep telling myself that the future really does not matter. i have seen too many people die young without any significant achievement in life at all. and then i’ve seen people die old, without much to show for all those decades. i realise that death is unevitable and unpredictable and i choose to life, laugh and love while i still can.

what god hath joined in heaven, no one on earth can ever tear apart.

wynn told me the other day that he’s afraid that he’s getting older. i told him, that he is simply moving foward in life. no one grows younger. the danger would actually be moving backwards, or standing still in the progression of life.

i thought i had everything lined out just fine. and the life comes along and confuses things.


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