this marks the demise of my research on expletives *sob!* *sob!*
my new research will explore the intricacies of narrative structures and analyses, an area which i am so vaguely familiar with but am going to do it anyway because i’ve just spent the past two years doing this m.a. programme and its just stupid to drop out of it now.
truthfully, do i have any passion for the new area i am in? no. my interest in the world of linguistics got killed in micollac and the last of it was flushed down the toilet with the defenestration of my expletive project. i am doing narratives solely to finish off this masters and get on with life. i have no plans to do a doctorate at all and if i do enroll in a phd programme anytime in the next coupla years, it will be in a totally different field like genetic mutation manipulation or something.
i was on campus last friday to register and i learnt that half the faculty still hates me and the rest don’t give two hoots that i even exist. lets keep it that way. i know that to them, i will never be seen as anything more than just a student to be pushed and kicked around. i don’t even care if they are reading this, you bastards. i’m just another student to you, aren’t i?
you think that i will now drop out and run away? oh no, i will stay on and i will bloody well graduate. and when i do, i’m going to make sure that all of you know that i am no longer a student. i am a person with capabilities that far exceed what you have ever thought you perceive of me. and you know what? i am going to make sure you realise this. i am going to make sure that the person you were kicking around was this girl. this girl who made it big on her own right.
this girl will make it big on her own right. and you will never be anything more than the insignificant thorn who hurt her for less than a moment. and that moment is no more.