but there just comes a time when people need to draw the line between whacky and just downright wrong, between dangerous and just a no go.

it’s not that i’m a very examplary icon of virtue to young people, much less do i qualify to be a moral enforcer or guardian to anyone. i have done some pretty crazy things also. i have done some wild and dangerous things also. honestly, i must admit that i don’t entirely regret all of the stupid things i have done. and there could even be some that i’m pretty proud of.

but there just comes a time when people need to draw the line between whacky and just downright wrong, between dangerous and just a no go.

you see, of all the crazy things i’ve done, they never hurt anyone (directly that i know of, at least). no one was affected negatively by what i did, and above all, i retained a certain level of self pride, through my actions.

so now, how exactly do you explain this to someone? how do you tell someone the difference between cool-dangerous and uncool-dangerous. specifically, how do you explain to a teen or a young adult that no matter how cool something looks or sounds and how groovy everyone says it is, that something is just wrong. that that is just a risk that one just should not take. how do you explain to someone with raging hormones that what they do affect other people and no matter hos cool that makes you look, that it is not right. how do you tell them that when it is too late, it is just too late and their whole future can just whoosh down the toilet just because they want to look cool?

how do you do that without being a squealer?

i told myself that no matter what happens, i will not squeal. i will not tell tales. i will not go and tell everyone and their families about it and make you look bad. but how do i help you? how do i reach out to you? i know that it is absolutely none of my business. i’m not responsible for you. and you are big enough to take care of your self and make your own adult decisions.

but you know what? what you are doing is affecting me. and the case now is either i care or not care about you. if i care about you, i have to tell people who are responsible for you so they can help you. but you see, i have promised not to squeal. i promised i will not make you look bad. i know what you are doing is wrong. do you know how it feels like that i cannot tell anyone about it? do you know the hurt that you are causing me? i worry about you, but i cannot help you. should i choose not to care? and let you go about with your life the way you like it? and maybe someday you will learn on your own? will you appreciate life better that way?

because if that is the case, then i will remove myself from this entire scenario entirely. you go do whatever you think is cool. you got your own head and i’m not going to sit here and crack mine over your problems. i can walk out. it’s just that i know that you are hell smarter than this and if you choose this path anyway, then it’s your life and i won’t have anything to do with it.

just don’t try me on this one. i just know that either way, i’m going to regret it.

on another note, guess who i met on my way to lunch today? i was walking over to cosway with phil and someone bumped me and shouted, “magic!”

i was like, uh… who? and there he was, yellow haired, hungarian. it took a few moments to get the name out of the dungeons in my head, then it hit me… nuri! he works in the building right next to mine. the funny thing is, i was going to his office buidling for lunch and he was going to my office building to eat. i’m happy because nuri actually remembered my name. hehehe…

small world, eh?

i changed the template of my blog because people were saying that the black and white took too damn long to load. so sayang. i liked that last one. so now, i’ve decided just to take one off blogger. makes loading faster and no one can say that my designs are too perplexing. hey, they critisized michealangelo also, you know. and i don’t mean the ninja turtle:P

i got to get back to work. i’ll tell you about collateral later. big meeting. big project. lots of big important asses involved.


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