they’re sharing a drink they call lonliness, but it’s better than drinking alone

do you ever get that feeling that you should be somewhere else doing something else… and possibly even with someone else? i mean if you could choose what you could be at this moment of your life, would you be who you are now?

me – would i have thought back in my teens that i would be a language specialist? and if i had known that in my mid-twenties, i would be a linguist, would i have prepared for this moment? would i have looked forward to being who i am now?

and me as i am now, i wonder who i would be in the next ten or even five years? would i still be doing what i am doing? if i could fantasize for a moment… just for a moment… if i could be anything i wanted to be, realistically of course… what would i be?

i would be a storyteller. i would be the one who could tell amazing stories of real people and wonderful cultures from all around the world. i would mesmerize my audience of both ranked celebrities and mamak stall stalkers about the adventures i’ve experienced on the road. i’d be that traveler who was lucky enough to have survived incredible catastrophes, experienced the weirdest of the weird, shared drinks with people who carved their names in history, and stumbled upon the heart of the world.

sometimes you just know when the time is right to seize the moment.

you can tell that my heart longs for the open road. i hear the winds of indochina whispering my name already. oh to sing out loud in the bars of luang prabang again! in a place where nobody knows my name or who i am! to look out the window and see a whole new way of life play itself out! to close my eyes and know for a fact that i am a thousand miles away from home – and feel right at home with the world – and be just another new face and lost in a world of new faces.

soon, my precious. soon.

don’t mind me. i’ve been a walking train wreak for the last coupla days but i’ll get over it. my sudden contemplation of the future this afternoon was sparked by the great billy joel. i absolutely dig the lyrics. you have GOT to read it, my darlings. if you’ve read this whole post and see me in a bar, sing me this song and i’ll buy you a drink.

here’s to all our dreams! yea, i know it’s not a saturday. but when you’re me, you lose track of days pretty quickly.

the piano man ~ billy joel

it’s nine o’clock on a saturday
the regular crowd shuffles in
there;s an old man sitting next to me
making love to his tonic and gin

he says, “son, can you play me a memory?
i’m not really sure how it goes
but its sad and its sweet and i knew it complete
when i wore a younger mans clothes”

sing us a song, you’re the piano man
sing us a song tonight
well, we’re all in the mood for a melody
and you’ve got us feeling alright

now john at the bar is a friend of mine
he gets me my drinks for free
and he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
but there’s someplace that he’d rather be

he says, “bill, i believe this is killing me.”
as the smile ran away from his face
“well i’m sure that i could be a movie star
if i could get out of this place”

now paul is a real estate novelist
who never had time for a wife
and he’s talking with davy who’s still in the navy
and probably will be for life

and the waitress is practicing politics
as the businessmen slowly get stoned
yes, they’re sharing a drink they call loneliness
but its better than drinking alone

it’s a pretty good crowd for a saturday
and the manager gives me a smile
cause he knows that its me they’ve been comin to see
to forget about life for a while

and the piano, it sounds like a carnival
and the microphone smells like a beer
and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
and say, “man, what are you doing here?”