when i first entered upm years ago, the then deputy vice chancellor told us in a briefing, that the university is a place where we seek the truth and disspell the untruth. the operative word in his saying is, i believe, ’seek.’ through my years as a speaker on behalf on the university, i have been trained to do this. to investigate. to search. to learn.

to understand.

there is a time and place for everything, for everyone. yes, i have had my share of verbal abusing at the serdang campus, which began in the corridors of my hostel, on more than one account. what i learnt from that is that there will always be unreasonable people. and these are people who will never change their minds and what is worse, will never open their mind to an alternative point of view. no matter how i rationalise things, and yes, even back then, on the issues of cultural relations, they will never open their minds to something different.

or in my case, a different person.

i learn to walk away. it was not easy. it does not mean that i give in to their opinions. it simply means that i refuse to waste my energy and stoop to the levels of stuck minded hooligans.

instead, i found solice in people who, though still disagree with my perspectives, are willing to discuss the points on both sides with me. willing to understand my principles, because that really is all i ask for - to understand the justification on the alternative point of view.

nevertheless, the debating society never achieved a core membership of more than twelve people.

upm has always had hooligans. their presence is as prominent as the disagreements that they successfully flare up. the thing is this, if everyone does not take heed from the fuss, then they really would be clapping only with one hand. it is hard. some of the things they say are done with the intention to hurt, and they really do. they genuinely believe also, that what they are doing is right. and yes, i believe that as human beings, one can only take so much, which is what i came up with the saying, what does not kill YOU, only makes me stronger.

i understand that upm had produced a controversial book called the ‘ethnic relations.’ i have not seen said book. i do not however, put entire blame on the students for the mobs. the more intricate systems that run the university needs to be free from racism adn discrimination, before they are fit to advocate harmony among its students.

mobs, whereever, whenever, is never justified. to see it happen on my campus is disgraceful and embarassing. the screaming and indecipherable shoutings are shameful. didn’t your parents teach you anything about manners back home?! students of this campus are scholars. yes, you can be activists and you can hate activists. this is not a reason to resort to violence.

if you disagree with something, stand your ground and take it like a lady or a man. your prime minister did it when he came under fire. it did not mean that he did not have principles. regardless whether you agree or not with his decisions, it is evident that people respected that singular action.

my dearest friends from upm span all races. the malays. the chineses. the indians. the ibans. the melanaus. the bidayuhs. the khadazans. but you see, we never saw each other that way. we are friends because supported each other whenever a difficult assignment comes along. we supported each other through games. we gave each other rides to classes. we went to late night suppers and early morning breakfasts together. we organised events together. we went to trips together. of course, some are more outgoing that others. some talk more than others. some are from different faculties. different courses. like different subjects more than others. we dress differently. but we respected each other - because all this is what we choose to do and choose to be. and that is all that matters.

i am calling to upm students and spectators to this controversy to be more dignified than what is currently being portrayed by medias including blogs. let it only be reflective of just a small minority of the university’s population. if the book wants to be racist, then let it. bring it up in class. talk about it. if the lecturer disagrees, then let the lecturer be the racist one. if you see someone being racist to a friend, then stand up for your friend.

i have always told people, if the system wants to be discriminative, then let it. it is the people that matters. let the system discriminate. you as a person don’t. you are stronger than that. you are more intelligent than that. you are far more dignified than that.

so if people want to scream, then let his scream. leave him alone. let him scream by himself until his lungs burst. let him talk to himself. let him scream to himself.

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