All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. ~ Tolkien

i was wondering for quite awhile how that perutusan terakhir would play out. should i write something funny, or should i write something emo. maybe just something standard and unmemorable because, well, now is really not the time to let the cats out. but then again, now is a better time than any would have.

finally, i decided on… the classy. something with taste. something with flair. of course, the risk of such things is that some people, if not a lot of people, will probably not get it. after all, so few are thespians out there and among them, fewer still have the capacity for such appreciation.

oh, but i decided that i did not care. these were to be my last thoughts and i wanted them to be in words that were exquisite. words that were beautiful. words that – if you get it – warms the soul like liquid light flowing through one’s veins. a little bit of symbolism to bring the words to life. a dash of metaphors to spark the imagination. ah what joy it would be to get it.

and in retrospect, such is it is with the author. you either get me, or you don’t. seriously, if you do, what stories i would be able to share. tales that will excite, tales that would frighten, tales that would inspire, tales that would enlighten. but ah, not just mine. but yours all the more.

for i am, but a curious, curious soul. quite unlike most other encounters. far too easily misunderstood. but curious, oh so curious, all the same.


In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~ Albert Schweitzer

there are several things that has become a tradition. i like that word, tradition. it feels so secure. something i can depend on, rely on, look forward to, and i know i will not be let down. this tradition is, lou sang with the akurians.

after several traffic lights, we ended up in banting somewhere. i don’t know where this place it but i hear if you say ‘seafood’ in banting, this is where you would end up. one thing about this place tho, it gets super crowded really really quick and really really early. so the tip is to go really really quick and really really early. otherwise you will end up with nasi separuh masak. like literally. seriously. three times.

any no akurian outing would be complete without a prank. hope you enjoyed yours, ray ray :)


So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. ~ Franz Kafka

anyone who knows me well enough will know that there is an awkwardly long list of things that i do not eat. it is a list that is self developed, mostly. and almost wholly unjustified. but it is a list that i am quite steadfast about it. for no reason at all.

but when i do find something that i like, i can eat that, and just that for days and days at a time without feeling muak about it at all. i would be, in fact, quite happy to do it. it would be something i look forward to. and quite enjoy.

don’t get me wrong. i eat quite healthy, if i do say so myself. i am actually quite inclined towards vegetarianism but i don’t think i can ever cut belacan from my life, so who are we kidding, kan? we can try, though. oh yes, we can. i suppose everyone has their own peculiar eating habits. this is just a part of mine.


Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness. ~ Helen Keller

so the resolution this year is to read more. okay, it is also to dive. like, please god, i really really need to go into mermaid mode again and see that majestic kingdom which is the marine universe. i need me, all of me, to be immersed underwater and have that weightless, flying sensation again.

but yes, in the mean time, i really need to up my book count, man. all those trip to the wolf’s den has deliciously filled up my book shelves and i am in need to escapism. the intellectual kind. my horizons, it seems, has become too jaded with the world and i am in need of words. words. expressions. beautifully crafted ones. deep ones. the kind wearing knee high boots and wrapped in a nice red cape.


The water in a vessel is sparkling; the water in the sea is dark. The small truth has words which are clear; the great truth has great silence. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

oh pelangi langkawi, how i have always adored thee. and thou art not disappoint. nay, thou doesntst disappoint.

that is how this place makes me feel. like poetry. i was in desperate need of beach therapy, so when work call upon a seaside venue, i jumped in, like literally.

how soothing the sound of the sea echoing in my ears. lifted by the salty sea. the endless sky ceiling. and that is it. that is all there is to it. there is nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing else, nothing else in the world. but the sea, the sky, and me.


The Flatland Experience

*Contains spoilers*

I absolutely adore Terry & The Cuz, The Rubix Cube and Suhaili Micheline’s Flatland experience. I did not think I would actually enjoy it this much becase I am admittedly not a dance person (much attributed to my own unfortunate control of hand-eye co-ordination), but this was a piece that resonated so deeply in me, that I was still peeling layers of interpretation from the story hours after the show – much to the delight and despair of my mates who expected non-heavy after-show drinks. Then again, Liverpool won that night. Non heavy night was never their destiny. Hah!

But really, the weight of Flatlands was over whelming in a beautiful way. So beautiful, I really don’t know how many can actually appreciate how incredibly tragic the story really is. How painful. How politically charged. How much hurt and confusion is packaged in the scenes.

And that troubles me.

I sat there, as members of the audience giggled at the “absurdity” of the movements. I wonder if they understand how profound that “random” bogey is. Why there is nothing random or absurd about it in the first place.

How the audience’s very reaction of giggling at the dancer who came out bouncing on the rubber goat is the very thing that is wrong with society today.

How the scene where the protagonist stares in silence at the rubber goat that had fallen on its side after its rider was taken away for non-conformity… how the prolonged stillness of this scene absolutely breaks my heart.

How I actually got slightly angry when people in the audience laughed when shoes were being thrown from the side of the stage to the protagonist towards the end of the dance.

Or maybe I am reading too deeply into this.

I know that many proper media reviewers rave about the music and lighting/projection effects, which I assure you is nothing short of remarkable. I really have not seen anything quite like it in this country. But I wish, I really really wish to see more discourse on the ideas and concepts that this dance depicts.

How it is far closer to our reality than we realise, or want to realise.

Conformity? Individuality? Evolution? Rigidity? Fluidity?


Okay. Maybe I am reading too deeply into this. But Flatland is that sort of dance story. And I love this kind of thought provocation.