U2 perform Every Breaking Wave on Later… with Jools Holland, BBC Two

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Posted by on November 3, 2014 in the space between


Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion, because it’s on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love, infatuation with someone, passion, all that. On the other end, you’ve got obsession, jealousy, danger, fear, anger and frustration. ~ Taylor Swift

ah yes, so here are my very first pair of red jeans. well, actually any jeans outside the blue – grey – black colour spectrum. and i know that kat sini memang tak luar biasa langsung untuk pakai jeans yang pelbagai-bagai colour, but to those who know my suprebly limited edition wardrobe, ini agak tidak normal.

actually, i do notice that my fashion sense is quite different masa kat sini. part of it is because i really cannot change it. the weather here is just do different from back home that i have had to overhaul almost everything i brought with me here all those months ago. instead, kena dress ikut musim, otherwise i will fall sick like all the time.

and on the other hand, since kena beli baju baru, i had the opportunity to redefine who i am by the european retail experience. i don’t know how to explain how this feels or really do justice to what this means. it is not a bad thing. it is just different.

like these red jeans. pakai red jeans macam ni pegi kerja. different like that.

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Posted by on October 31, 2014 in netherlands


So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. ~ Franz Kafka

so here is my contribution to the one – pot – pasta foodie trend that is going around right now. today, we have tomatoes, french beans, red onions, chicken, pepper, chilli flakes. and spaghetti. of course. added water, tutup the pot, and here we go.

and here is the after photo. i really like the soup that this combination creates. the tomato – which i usually don’t like eating in any solid form anyway – disintegrates into the soup. the french beans lends a surprisingly fresh flavour to the soup as well. all in all, i would call this experiment a huge success and imma gonna try different combinations!

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Posted by on October 30, 2014 in makan makan


You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I’ll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being. ~ Jim Carrey

when in belgium, you absolutely must have a belgian waffle. with belgian chocolate. from the street. but of course! and forget about trying to stay dainty while eating this. the risk is, it is now so hard to go back to regular chocolate. such is life, i guess.

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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in belgium, makan makan


No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. ~ Nelson Mandela

this is just me thinking aloud about certain boycotts happening… well, it does not matter where it is happening. yang penting, is the objective of this people and this is of course on the assumption that we want to stop the oppression of people’s liberties. pendek kata, people should not hurt people, people should respect people, and as long as orang tak kacau kita, then we should let them just be. i know it sounds basic, so why this concept is so difficult to uphold is beyond me.

we come full circle to this idea of boycotts. and the reason we boycott is by turning our backs to the oppressors and cutting their sources or resources, with the intention of forcing them to stop hurting other people.

i am all for respecting and not hurting other people. i am unsure about the idea of boycott, so i am not going to say if it is effective or not.

i do believe however, in walking the talk. i think that if you are going to ask people to stop hurting other people, you should stop hurting other people first. if you are asking people to respect other people, you should respect other people first. if you want to fight for the right of people practice their beliefs, then before you make it a global crusade, begin in your own backyard. it really comes down to this, how can you save the world, when you can’t even save your own back yard?

don’t get me wrong, i condemn the senseless killing of any innocent person. i condemn the exploitation of children and violations against women. i believe that hunger and abuse of any of god’s creatures is unacceptable.

and i don’t condemn this just on a global scale. the local scene is just as important, if not more important, than the global scale. there should be outrage about the rape and abuse and violation of liberties back home. if we want to tell people not to be racist, we should not be racist ourselves. if we want to tell people to stop fighting and get along, we have to stop fighting and get along first.

on a theological platform, this is what i believe, this stupid argument about land and countries and who owns land and who is rightfully the owners of land and who has more right over a piece of land that others, tanah ni jajahan siapa, tanah ni milik bangsa mana etc – all this argument is completely rubbish. from a theological point of view – i remind you – this question is irrelevant and almost blasphemous even. no one owns land. no one owns a piece of earth. god owns land. god owns the earth. and on the reminder that we are all god’s creatures, we all have a right to the earth, to god’s land. i have had quite enough of people bombing and gunning and chasing people off what they claim as their piece of land. just like i have had enough of people saying that a single race has more right over land than others, and that the so-called less superior race (by virtue of birth or by virtue of race or by virtue of belief) should go back from where their forefathers came from. no. this is god’s earth. and we are god’s creatures. and if god’s creature is not harming anyone, is respectful, tak buat kacau, hormat, keeps to all the virtues that pleases god, then, by no means at all can you treat it with any less. look at yourself first. seriously.

pigs and dogs are god’s creatures as well, by the way. some people argue that they are god’s condemned creatures. i am not an expert in this field, but this is what i do believe: they are still god’s creatures. my struggle on earth is not to become a condemned creature myself. and should i be heading on the way towards condemnation, i plea for mercy and compassion and kindness from my maker. how can the almighty show me mercy if i cannot show mercy onto his other creatures? how can my condemned soul hope for kindness from the almighty, if i have been unkind to his other creatures whom i thought to have deemed condemned? so no, i will not treat any of god’s creatures with any form of condemnation. there is too much riding on the line. they are god’s creatures. i am god’s creature. condemnation status is the lord’s exclusive right to judgement. not mine.

don’t even get me started on the jews and zionism.

at the end of this, i am still undecided on boycotts. the line of work that i am in is concerned about the loss of livelihood as a result of some of these boycotts and how the local impacts are managed. i am concerned about that. and as mentioned, i am also concerned our own back yard. we scream about corruption that perpetuates this racism, while back in our own backyard… well…

this is an unending debate. someone will tell me that well, if we don’t stand up for them, then who will? i agree. i completely agree. everyone and everywhere. globally and in your backyard. i agree. please don’t forget your backyard.

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Posted by on August 8, 2014 in the space between


Bring him home (Les Miserables) ~ Alfie Boe

there has just been so many aircraft tragedies in the past few months. this feels appropriate.

i choose to still hang on to hope beyond hope. i truly believe in miracles.

god on high, hear my prayer,
in my need, you have always been there
he is young, he’s afraid. let him rest heaven blessed
bring him home, bring him home
he’s like the son i might have known if god had granted me a son
the summers die one by one, how soon they fly on and on
and i am old and will be gone
bring him peace, bring him joy. he is young, he is only a boy
you can take, you can give. let him be, let him live
if i die, let me die, let him live, bring him home

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Posted by on August 1, 2014 in music & literature


People carry worlds within them. ~ Neil Gaiman

within the first half an hour of mh17’s crash, i receive calls from all over the world of people making sure that i am safely on the ground. yes, i am safely on the ground. i do travel on that code quite frequently, but through the blessing of god, i am safely on the ground, here in the netherlands when the tragedy struck.

all over the world. malaysia. netherlands. uk. switzerland, hong kong. canada. india. cambodia. usa. mom obviously, was the first to buzz on my phone. but so many more quickly followed. and i am stunned, and i am still stunned by just how many people thought of me during that time of panic.

and i am truly, truly grateful. so much so that i don’t know how to react. it is truly unexpected. so many messages were pouring in, that i had to put up a proper notice on facebook and twitter to announce that i am okay. yet, the messages still poured. messages. posts. emails.

i am blessed. i guess it took being away, so far away, for me to realise how many people have me in their thoughts and prayers. it is truly unexpected. i am grateful. so much more than words can say.

words cannot express how i feel about the downing of mh17. on one hand, it could have been me. like i said, i am so frequently on that code. but more than that, being so involved in the aviation industry has brought me closer to airports and airlines. despite what people say about corruption etc, i know a lot of good people who work in it, and their dedication makes a real difference to the travel experience.

and on top of all of that, i am a malaysian in the netherlands. i watch the two countries grieve over the incident. i see anger. i see coming together. no one could find a single fault in the respect shown by the dutch to the crash victims. but there is also a searing, controlled anger underlying their calm composure.

i soak it all in. the good. the bad. i really would not have it any other way. i am blessed. but i am also sad. i am at awe. i am angry. i am proud. it is an incredible thing, this human experience.

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Posted by on August 1, 2014 in netherlands


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